Understanding Grief & Loss
When someone we love dies, we are set on a deeply personal journey—filled with sorrow, confusion, emotional highs and lows, and the need to adjust to a new reality. This journey is what we know as grief.
Grief Is a Natural Reaction to Loss
Grief is the natural way our mind and body respond when we lose someone important. It includes all the emotions, physical symptoms, and mental reactions we experience during such a time. Just as the body heals from a physical wound, grief is the internal process that helps us begin to heal emotionally from the absence of someone we held dear.
Everyone Grieves Differently
Grief is not a one-size-fits-all experience. Each person’s response to loss is as unique as their relationship with the person who has died. Just as no two relationships are exactly the same, no two grief journeys will be either. The depth of your connection to the person will often influence how strongly and in what ways you feel their loss—whether it’s a close relative, a friend, or even a beloved pet.
Grief Is Learning to Live with the Loss
Grieving isn’t a step-by-step process with a clear finish line. It’s about gradually adapting to a world without the person who has died. The journey of grief includes:
1. Accepting the Reality of the Loss
Feelings of disbelief, numbness, or detachment are common. It may take time to fully accept that the person is really gone.
2. Feeling the Emotional Weight
As reality sets in, so do the emotions. You might feel sadness, anger, confusion, anxiety, loneliness, and more. Physical symptoms such as disrupted sleep, headaches, stomach upset, or loss of appetite are also normal. This is the “grief work” – mentally and emotionally adjusting to life without your loved one.
3. Relearning How to Live
In time, you begin to find new routines, a new sense of identity, and ways to honour the person’s memory while continuing forward. The grief doesn’t disappear, but it becomes a part of you that you learn to carry with peace.
Grieving Is Hard Work
Processing grief takes real effort—emotionally, physically, and mentally. You may find yourself talking about your loved one again and again, which is healthy and necessary. Grief will come in waves, sometimes unexpectedly. You’ll face changes in your daily life, responsibilities, and sense of self. Talking to someone—a friend, support group, or counsellor—can help you begin to adjust and rebuild your world.
Common Effects of Grief
Grief can impact every part of your life. You may experience:
Emotional symptoms: sadness, anger, guilt, loneliness, depression
Physical effects: fatigue, sleep changes, appetite changes, body aches
Mental effects: confusion, forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating
Spiritual struggles: questioning beliefs, searching for meaning
These are all normal, though not everyone will experience every symptom.
Give Yourself Time
There’s no deadline on grief. Some people feel ready to move forward after a few months; for others, it may take years. The bigger the loss, the longer the healing often takes. Be patient and kind to yourself during this time.
Ways to Support Yourself Through Grief
Let yourself grieve in your own way—cry, talk, write, create a memory book, or make a special space to remember them.
Take your time—healing isn’t a race, and there’s no “right” timeline.
Learn about grief—reading books on loss can help you better understand what you’re feeling.
Avoid major decisions—try not to rush into life-changing choices too soon after a loss.
Seek support—talk to a counsellor, join a support group, or connect with organisations like Bereaved Parents, Widow & Widowers Association, or your local hospice.
Grief may never fully leave us, but over time, it can become less overwhelming. You’ll find new ways to live, while still honouring the love and memories of the person who meant so much.
